Of Soap And Showers

I was in the shower the other morning, soaping up with the last sliver of soap that had split in half. Cheap dude that I am, can't let it go to waste. As I'm lathering up, I inadvertently bumped the wall and dropped the soap. I bend down to pick it up, and it's not there. Turn around and scan the entire tub. Not there. Stuck to the wall? Nope. Shower curtain? Nope. I move the shower curtain aside to see if it slid up the side of the tub and is hiding behind the curtain. Nope. What the heck? Okay, maybe I'm just going blind in my old age. After all, it is a white slice of soap on a white tub. I bend down and look closer. It's not there. Not even behind the shampoo bottles. Okay, I give up. Whatever. I grab the new soap that I had smartly placed in the soap dish in anticipation of needing it (my motto: Be Prepared!) and finished up.

As I exit the tub, what do I see? The remnants of my soap parked in the middle of the bath mat. How the heck it managed to get out of the tub with the shower curtain completely closed is beyond me, though I'm sure the physics of it all would be fascinating.

And speaking of tubs and soap, I was reminded of a time last May when I flew to California for a business trip. I was staying in the hotel, and when I went to take a shower, I noticed a heavy rubber bath mat perched on the edge of the tub. Seeing how I haven't used a bath mat since I was like, ten, I ignored it and went about my showering. After all, I'm a healthy guy, reasonable shape, and have been showering at least daily for decades without a problem, why would I expect this day be any different?

So I'm in the middle of rinsing my hair when I realize my feet are going one way and my upper body is going the other. The importance of said bathmat is now glaringly obvious. I reach for the grab bar conveniently located on the wall, but I am too far away. No ifs, ands, or buts, I'm going down. The only thing I could think of was that they were going to find my dead naked soapy body when I didn't show up for the morning meeting. Next thing I know my feet are in the tub, my body is on the bathroom floor, and I'm looking at my reflection in the mirrored closet door. I started laughing, of course. I mean, what else could I do? It was pretty funny.

Note to self: if a hotel provides you with a rubber bath mat, use it. They clearly know something you do not.

Winter Deja Vu?

So last year about this time we had a nice snowstorm. That evening, I was out shoveling in the wind and blowing snow, which at that time was approximately 8 inches piled up on the sidewalks and driveways. I was just about finished when I heard a pop and a sizzle, and the sky lit up with a blue smoky haze. The transformer atop the phone pole across the street lit up like a Fourth of July sparkler, sparks flying and cascading down. Then flames erupted. I started to count down: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, POOF! A big zap and the whole neighborhood went black. Which would have been fun if it weren't for the latest episode of American Idol that was about to start.

Cops, fire trucks, and finally the power company arrived. But not in time for AI. Enter the big rolling ugly RV and its ever-ready generator. Voila! Instant TV, heat, cooking, and lights while the rest of the neighborhood sat in darkness. Mock my RV will you? Take that!

So being the end of January in New England, snow is pretty much a given, despite sixty-degree temperatures earlier in the week. I awoke to a couple of inches of huge fluffy flakes that made navigating to the barber shop a bit tricky. By the time I got home and shoveled, the sun was shining and snow was melting and all was good. By early evening though, as I sat at my computer finishing my work, I saw a huge flash of lightning followed by a boom of thunder, and rain pelting my house. Such is the weather here!

About an hour later, I descend from my room with my little canine beasts to go outside. The temperature has dropped at least 15 degrees, the wind is howling, and there is now a half-inch of icy snow on the ground. Not a problem. I am about to start a fitness regimen (cough, cough!) so I'll shovel again. This time my 11-year-old son decides to help me.

Out we go, scraping the thin layer of icy stuff from the driveway and sidewalks. Suddenly the whole sky lights up, a strange tint of bluish white. Lightning? I thought so, but no thunder followed, only a distant buzzing. Hmm. Shrug. Shovel. Scrape. Bend. Toss. Then again, flash! Buzz!

I get the eerie feeling the power will go out at some point tonight. Either that or somehow my town has been transformed into Homer Simpson's Springfield and the local power plant is about to have a reactor meltdown. Either way, life is never dull!

AWOL

Yes, I've been awol.

No, I have not been writing.

But that doesn't mean I haven't been very busy!

It's the start of a new year. Maybe I'll get my act together enough to blog regularly.

Have a good one!